Anti-Bullying Day

Anti-Bullying Day

I saw a post online a little while ago asking the following question: what did you do for Anti-Bullying Day?

Seems like an innocent question? Personally, it made me cringe. Think about this idea just one step further, and you may see my perspective on how utterly ridiculous it is. There are 365 days in the year, and just ONE is anti-bullying day?? EVERDAY should be anti-bullying day

Don’t get me wrong, I do recognize and appreciate the purpose of such a day. Similar to Cancer Awareness, Poverty Awareness, and Valentine’s Day… the idea is to increase collective consciousness around the subject, in hopes of stimulating more efforts to eradicate it. Our society tends to operate in this way for such large scale issues, and to an extent, it works.

HOWEVER, it only works to an extent. Often what happens is you get a large number of people focused and open to the idea of stopping the problem of bullying…for one day. Whoopee. Then all the hype and good intentions fizzle out, people are left to their own devices, and life continues as per usual. This also means that those kids who were being bullied before this special day continue to be bullied.

Again, I do agree that awareness around such a subject needs to be cultivated, but this is only the first step. Actions need to change on a daily basis. In this there is a HUGE lesson applicable to many situations. This is the necessity for persistence in the grind. We are all capable of having these wonderful ideas that bring us closer to an ideal world or accomplishing some goal, like the problem of bullying. If it was only an idea however, and we didn’t go past the excitement of that, nothing would ever happen, nothing would ever change.

This is my point with Anti-Bullying Day. It is great idea, great platform from which to jump, but it is the daily actions of individuals; the ways of interacting, the language used, the demeanor with which we stand, that make the real difference. While the bullies are the problem, this persistence in action applies to everyone. The daily actions of teachers, parents and authority figures set the example, the confidence of those being bullied play a role in the situation, and of course, the bullies themselves need to learn proper conduct. It is only when we all have the dedication to live in this world in a respectful way, through constant persistence and attention, that things can change for the better.

To elaborate on this just a little bit further, the Anti-Bullying Day notion is also restrictive. While it targets help for the victims of bullying, which is obviously important, it fails to acknowledge the other individuals who need help…the bullies.

Children who become bullies do so for a reason. This reason is not an excuse, but it is a problem that needs to be uncovered and dealt with. Often these individuals, for whatever reason, have some kind of pent up anger, fear, feelings of lack of control, etc. They require an outlet for such issues, so that they don’t channel that energy into something like bullying.

There are a variety of ways to do this, and martial arts is one.  Through discipline, training and patience, bullies authority figures and bullies can start to learn why they engage in such behavior, and how to best deal with the problem.

This is no small task; it takes constant, dedication and effort. But like I said, not real problems can be solved with a few posters and rallies. Real issues require real solutions. If we are to improve ourselves and our world, we must be committed to efforts daily, not just once in a while.

Whose Class is it Anyway?

Whose Class is it Anyway?

 

Scenario: you or your child misses a weekly fitness class.

What would you say to the instructor at the next lesson?

 

”I’m sorry I missed you class last week, it was because…”

 

Is this along the lines of how your sentence would likely begin?

 

Naturally, as an instructor, I see people miss classes from time to time. This is both understandable and expected – sometimes life gets in the way. What’s not as understandable, is the language and it’s meaning that is often used in explanations: ”I’m sorry I missed your class last week…”

 

STOP THE THOUGHT THERE.

 

Why are you apologizing this way? It’s not my class you attend or miss, it’s yours.

 

This seemingly insignificant statement carries with it an enormous amount of power. It immediately removes you as a student from taking full commitment and responsibility for your own class, and in many ways, your own life.

 

I as an instructor have already dedicated myself to my own health practices, and additionally, to helping others attain a similar state of vitality. The former part of this statement refers to what I do on my own time to stay healthy: these are my classes. The latter part is my service to you, but refers to your choice to improve your life: these are your classes.

 

When you decide to commit to a class or practice of any kind, in this case, to improve your overall wellbeing, the decision is yours. The commitment and responsibility are yours. And most importantly, the benefits and rewards derived from consistent practice are yours.

 

Your choice to take part in a fitness class is important. You’re improving your physical health and your mental function, and learning valuable tools. Do not diminish the significance of this by handing the torch of ownership over to your instructor. Take in both hands and run with it. Own your class.

 

You may or may not be familiar with the saying that ”the microcosm represents the macrocosm”. How you perform any seemingly small act is often an indication of how you run your life.

 

When I hear statements that deflect ownership of one’s journey back to the instructor, I cringe. When else do you surrender your life to someone else?

It is your own responsibility to decide to grow and take proper care of yourself, it is you who must be willing to put in the effort, it is you that misses out when you don’t maintain your commitment, and when you have accepted this responsibility, it is you that receives the plethora of benefits.

 

This is the reason I am honing in on such a minute detail. It’s impact is massive.

 

Own your class. Own your life.

 

What is Reality Based Self Defense?

What is Reality Based Self Defence?

 

Our upcoming seminar with Richard Dimitri has raised the question many times; what is Reality-Based Self Defence (RBSD), and why should I taking a course on it?

 

Regardless of whether or not you’re taking our seminar this weekend, RBSD is something that everyone should learn from a qualified instructor, as it is a practical tool for ensuring your safety in dangerous situations, and learning proactive conduct to avoid such situations in the first place.

 

RBSD not only teaches physical methods for avoiding and escaping dangerous scenarios, but also helps you develop a deeper understanding and approach to life, so that you can walk more confidently through the world. This works, because RBSD is primarily based on psychological and emotional factors, with the physical aspects being secondary

 

Still, all of these aspects are interconnected, as shown in the diagram below:

 

One of the crucial facts about RBSD is that it helps you to develop your own intuitive radar. This is something we all have, but like any muscle or skill, it requires training and maintenance to expand to its full potential. This becomes a valuable ability in circumstances where you feel uncomfortable or endangered, and you need to trust that internal voice that tells you to walk away. This allows you to maintain a safe space for yourself in almost any situation. Should this safe space be compromised, RBSD also teaches the ability to listen to that intuition when it tells you to say ‘no’, even if it requires being rude. Don’t be afraid to be rude if necessary! Your security is more important.

 

The other fundamental fact about RBSD is that it teaches a common sense approach to life. This may seem an obvious tactic that is unnecessary to teach, however, we are not always as rooted in common sense as we might think. Instead, we often allow our emotions to dictate our actions, be it fear, passion, curiosity, excitement, etc. At these points, common sense goes out the window! With RBSD, you learn to maintain your clarity and sense of reason, even when emotions run high.

 

Lastly, there is the issue of why you should learn RBSD in a course rather, than from a book or some other self-study method. Any skill you learn that is related to everyday life is inevitably more valuable when you learn it from someone who has been there and done it. These are not theoretical concepts to think about, these are practical, real world skills. Instructors such as Richard can recreate scenarios so you can experience them, they can provide real examples from their own lives, and can show you many different sides and possibilities of a given topic, creating a deeper, more complete understanding.

 

This is not just a suggestion, it is a necessity. It’s your life and your safety.

You should be the one in control.

Suckerpunch Psychology

Sucker Punch Psychology

 

There exists an old martial arts notion that as a martial artist, you first wait to be attached, and then respond or react accordingly.

 

What do you think about this?

 

If you feel an intuitive sense that it is not the most reasonable approach to difficult situations…you’re right!

 

In reality, this idea does not hold, conceptually or in practice. In the martial arts context of combat or confrontation, if you feel your safety is threatened, you generally don’t wait for something back to happen, like a punch in the face. Instead, you get on the offensive and try to prevent any negative incidence from occurring in the first place. In other words, you sucker punch the problem – you get it before it gets you.

 

Who knew the sucker punch mentality could be so valuable? Take a moment to step back from martial arts and expand the notion to other aspects of life.

 

**Side disclaimer: in this meaning, ‘sucker punch’ refers purely to ‘beating someone or something to the punch’. It does NOT refer to the sneaky, underhanded methods commonly associated with the term**

 

Take, for example, the ideal approach to health. We all want to feel good, have lots of energy, and avoid illness. In order to accomplish this, we need to be preventative about it. If we are healthy we take proper care of ourselves, eat right, exercise regularly, get enough rest, and essentially live a well-balanced life. In doing so, we sucker punche illness, fatigue, and foggy mental abilities by getting to the body with healthy things, before unhealthy symptoms creep in.

 

Another prime example is relationships. Whether they’re romantic, friends or family, relationships require a sincere sucker punch mentality. This does NOT mean you use your partner in question as a punching bag. This refers to the relationship dynamics. As people, we’re all different, which means our interactions aren’t going to be perfect. There will be times when we get on each other’s nerves, regardless of how close we are. That said, in a healthy relationship, problems are sucker punched: if there is an issue beginning, we have look at it, bring it up, and deal with it, before it grows into something more serious.

 

Martial arts is an excellent tool for cultivating and perfecting this mentality. It teaches focus and discipline, but also proactive action and anticipation. The martial artist sees their partners’ actions and stays one step ahead, always being prepared and aware in all circumstances.

This valuable skill then expands itself into being a proactive individual in the many aspects of daily life, including the above examples and more.

 

Instead of letting life push you around, you sucker punch it, and take hold of your own destiny. 

 

If you need inspiration, remember:

 

“He who hesitates, meditates in a horizontal position”
- Ed Parker

Blackbelt DNA

Blackbelt DNA

 

What does it take to be a black belt?

 

1. In the words of a child: A black belt is a white belt that never gave up.

 

In the words of Frank Lloyd Write: “I know the price of success: dedication, hard work, and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen”

 

The accomplishment of any worthwhile goal is not a quick and easy task. It requires setting the goal, and dedicating yourself to reaching that goal. Persistence, regardless of when the tasks are easy, when they’re difficult, in the face of all obstacles… these are the things that lead to success.

 

In choosing to embark on the path of martial arts, there are many goals that can be focused on, with the ultimate goal of course being becoming a black belt. Everyone has their own notion of what this means. This personal meaning, however, does not change the traits required to make the goal happen. Along path of pursuit, students face inevitable challenges as they test their mental and physical limitations. Drawing on dedication and persistence towards the goal at hand, those white belts that never give up meet each presented challenge, push past their limits, and overcome obstacles.

In the process, valuable lessons are learned, strength of character is built, and a person worthy of a black belt is formed.

 

 

2. In the words of a child: A student has to be a black belt in their heart before they can wear one around their waist.

 

In the words of Rick English: “A black belt is nothing more than a belt that goes around your waist. Being a black belt is a state of mind and attitude.”

 

While reaching the level of black belt is certainly a great achievement, the formal success of reaching it is just that, a formality. The mental and physical strength that are required to reach such a level is the true reward. One who has dedicated themselves to this challenge from the beginning, in the form of martial arts, already has the mentality of a black belt.

 

A black belt is a symbol. As previously stated, the exact meaning of this symbol can vary slightly from person to person, but in essence it represents a certain strength of character. It shows that a student had the perseverance to conquer the challenges that accompany the exploration of martial arts. This is a mentality and attitude that must be present long before the black belt itself.

 

1. In the words of a child: A black belt never leaves anyone behind.

 

In the words of Stan Lee: “With great power there must also come — great responsibility”

 

A black belt attains a certain level of power. They have learned and acquired particular skills in agility and strength, physical control, mental acuity. With such skills also comes the increased sense of responsibility to help those who are weaker in any way. These individuals have developed a sense of what it is to be selfless, to acknowledge the importance of community and teamwork, above the narrow focus on oneself.

 

It may sound cliché or idealistic, but the truth of this is obvious. The strong help the weak. Period. Those who have learned a valuable skill, who have developed physical strength, who have harnessed the power of mental focus, have a duty to share the value outside themselves. Small minds stay focused only on themselves, open minds, like those presumably created in the process of attaining a black belt, extend their focus to fellow human beings.

Commitments We Make

Commitments We Make

A man who loves his wife and has been married for five years is one day approached by a stunning woman, who wants a no strings attached one night stand…should he accept the offer?

A business owner who has a vision of a thriving, expanding business, simply can’t resist the temptation to go out with friends on a Friday night, rather than putting in those necessary extra hours…for the sake of fun, should he give in?

A martial arts student who dreams of becoming stronger and one day earning a black belt feels tired after school and would rather go home and lie on the couch, rather than attend his lesson…should he skip class?

The answer to each of these is a resounding no, no and NO.

Success in anything in life, be it love, fitness, martial arts, business, etc., requires commitment….not sometimes, ALWAYS.               

The dictionary definition of commitment is: “the act of binding yourself (intellectually or emotionally) to a course of action”.

If you’re committed to something, this definition holds, regardless of whether you feel like it or not.

The majority of people go through life with unfinished goals and dreams, simply because of a lack of long term dedication and commitment. We are a society seeking instant gratification and pleasure, and we don’t tend to handle stress or hardship well. Instead, we try to avoid it. As a result, when our commitments challenge us, require that we do something we don’t feel like doing, or demand too much effort; we often opt for the path of least resistance, and choose what we want NOW. Consequentially, it is common to see failed marriages, failed business endeavors, and incomplete ventures into learning new skills.

To actually grow as a human being, expand skills, knowledge and ability, and achieve success in life, we much be accountable to ourselves and others. We must be willing to follow through with what we begin if we want to thrive…this includes times when we’re tired, don’t feel like it, or are tempted to give in to a more instantaneous reward.

The outcome of the above scenarios is predictable: for one night of fun, that man will likely lose an invaluable relationship. Lack of drive and work ethic will probably cause the business owner a huge set back in his business, and if it’s a behavioural trend, will ultimately lead to its demise. Laziness will ensure that the dream of the martial arts student remains only a dream.

In our changing world, learning to be more dedicated and solid individuals is essential. In all aspects, we must abandon our belief that we should only do what feels good now, and learn to see the bigger picture, and give our 100% in all of life’s situations…pleasant, unpleasant, easy, hard. 

In the realm of ideas everything depends on enthusiasm… in the real world all rests on perseverance.
– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Big Vision, Small Steps

Big Vision, Small Steps

 

In my last blog I talked about the need for combating problems like bullying with consistent, daily practice, not just large, annual or one time events. There is however, as I also mentioned, a need for both.

 

MODERATION

 

This word shows up in every aspect of life: work, exercise, diet, fun, rest, etc.

To function optimally and reach our highest potential, we require balance.

 

With this approach, we can accomplish incredible things!

 

We put a man on the moon, but not because we simply dreamt it up. There was 1. the capacity for vision-scale thinking and 2. the dedication and persistence to carry out all the little, sometimes mundane, necessary steps to get there.

 

Why do so many of us have difficulty reaching out individual measure of success? Like right versus left brain thinkers, we all have a tendency towards wide or detail-oriented thinking. If you tend to be a wide thinker, you probably have no problem coming up with amazing new ideas. You might, however, have trouble realizing any of them. If you are a detail-oriented thinker, you are probably great at completing tasks to reach a goal…but you likely need someone else to come up with the goal.

 

Why am I wading into this territory?

 

As an instructor, I have watched and worked with hundreds of people, fascinated by their progress when working towards a certain goal. As a business owner, I know all too well the endless list of tasks that must be completed in order for things to run smoothly. But if I don’t take time to create and constantly fine tune the larger vision, I would be working meaninglessly on scattered details. This template calls for a balance between the two, and can be applied to a wide range of scenarios.

 

We all have something unique and valuable to contribute to this world. It is essential that we take the time to learn how to make it happen.

 

Experience has shown me that we must allow our creative side to flourish, while maintaining the tenacity to see it through practically in the world.

 

See your vision, and take the small steps to create it, without getting lost in details.

Strike this balance, achieve your goals, and fulfill your potential.